In which I talk with my pseudo-boyfriend about how to get him with other people

[princetheoden]

Theoden: *shows up at Fingon's with a bag of groceries* *knock knock* Fiiingoon remember I was comiiiing I didn't bring the caaaat

Fingon: *goes to get the door* Hey! Oh good the cat is...yeah. We don't work well together do we?

Theoden: I think he thinks he's my chaperone. In as much as a cat thinks anything besides murder and licking themselves. *comes in* Ready to learn what Rohirrim eat instead of hunks of dead animal?

Fingon: I'm game. *leads him over to the kitchen where he's set things out and has a little table done and everything*

Theoden: *pulls out the ingredients* I had to get a little creative, different climate, different food, but... *eyes it* You know what? Let's just make cookies.


Theoden: you still have that chocolate, right? *goes to rummage through Fingon's pantry*

Fingon: Oh yeah definitely. Not much use for it without you around and all

Theoden: you don't like chocolate? *'are you crazy?' tone*

Fingon: Oh it's just not fun without somebody to USE it with *wink*

Theoden: oh good. I was worried about you for a second *little laugh and finally finds the syrup* Okay, I'm going to mix this into the batter.

Fingon: *laughs* It's just better to lick off people than not *nods intently*

Theoden: I dunno, all it took was me accidentally licking the sheets once to sour that. *puts Fingon to work measuring ingredients*

Fingon: *measures*

Theoden: *mixing* you know, I've been considering, well, stuff. Like a lot of the things I've been doing here since I arrived, including the lying. You know how hard it is for a Rohirrim to lie?

Fingon: Pretty hard, I'm told. So you've been hiding things?

Theoden: yeah. I mean, I hid stuff back home. The liking men and the fact I was completely terrified I was going to mess everything up. Though, these days I suspect that everyone has the second one going on.

Theoden: *pours in some syrup to make swirls before putting down the cookies* I mean, here it's been that I was a prince, but I'm realizing it doesn't really matter. I've mostly proved myself as a guard and my kingdom doesn't even exist yet, so who'll care?

Theoden: I mean, besides my roommate. From Rohan. Although I kind of suspect he knows

Fingon: Well yeah that second one is pretty much everyone all the time. And the men thing.... *blinks* You were? Oh you should have said. Turgon would have had you helpingwith the nobles council and things

Theoden: that's part of why I kept it to myself. I didn't want to admit I didn't feel like I could do a good job

Theoden: so it was easier to omit and well *grimaces* lie

Fingon: Ahh *nods at him* Why didn't you? Not enough experience or...

Theoden: not enough experience. Back home, I was still in the 'stop tying me to the stable ceiling' stage with my fellow countrymen. *offers a spoon of leftover batter to Fingon and licks his own* Dad had policies they didn't like, and my cousins were in charge of them and had their own goals in place. *shrug* Stupid politic stuff. Speaking of that, you're older than Turgon, why is he king?

Fingon: Ouch . Ooh *starts licking* That's pretty stupid. Well this is his city that he founded.

Theoden: so no 'oh, little brother, thanks for the kingdom!'?

Fingon: No nothing like that. *smiles* That wouldn't be right. I mean this is...he built it, Ulmo showed him where. Who am I to dispute that? Besides I don't do well with responsibility

Theoden: I have a confession. I'm pretty bad at this history. When my tutor was teaching me and my sisters, I was way more into making him tell me ghost stories about Helm Hammerhand, or about my granduncles. *tugs his braid* So I don't know if you ever HAD a kingdom. I just know there were a thousand Fins.

Theoden: *leans up and kisses Fingon* Of course, you're my favourite, I just don't know much about the historical you

Fingon: *laughs and kisses back* why thank you. It's kind of a long story with the kingship actually.

Theoden: You should tell me sometime. The last time I went to the House of History to do some checking, I got accused of wanting to kill elves

Fingon: Maedhros was high king, the version after the one who showed up here but gave that up after ....a lot of things I'm just going to gloss over because they're not pleasant and he shouldn't hear of it, and he abdicated to my father. I'm technically in line for that but...not right now. Did you? *frowns* How does that happen? I mean...there are humans who work there now too.

Theoden: *nod* I get complicated. And I get not telling people things that would upset them.

Theoden: as for my murder attempt, all I did was ask for a book on elf anatomy and the historian there got all weird and paranoid.

Theoden: thought Turgon had sent the guards to learn how to kill elves. *climbs onto the couch to wait for the cookies to finish* Meanwhile, there's no way I'm explaining that I'm just making sure elves don't have tentacles

Fingon: ...taht is...really really weird and paranoid. Yeah that'd be awkward.

Theoden: I had to wait until he stormed off before I could even look at those pages

Fingon: Ouch I bet.

Theoden: I can just imagine. "What! Turgon has sent you to castrate the elves!"

Fingon: *laughs* I can't think of any he'd want to castrate really

Theoden: You'd know better than me. I've only ever seen him when I escorted Feanor to him and... probably some other times, always in uniform

Theoden: he thought I was Theodred *reaches out to snag Fingon's arm*

Fingon: People mistake you for everyon here don't they?

Theoden: Heck, the other day someone called me 'Idis', and ran off when I turned around.

Theoden: I was pretty unique looking back home, it's weird having so many lookalikes here

Theoden: speaking of my lookalikes... *looks up at Fingon* how are you doing with Maedhros?

Fingon: We're in denial. Extreme denial.

Fingon: as in I think he knows by this point because I'm stupidly awkward about it but we haven't talked about it

Theoden: I was about to ask about the we in that. Do you think he wants you back?

Theoden: or it's all you?

Fingon: I have...no idea really. I think based on some stuff he's said...maybe but I might also be reading too much into it

Theoden: *arranges Fingon so he can rest his head on Fingon's chest* what would you do if you knew for sure he wanted you too?

Fingon: *idly plays with Theo's hair* I'd go for it

Theoden: even with all your 'no it's wrong'? *no judgement in his tone*

Fingon: If we both want it then i'm not projecting horrible thoughts onto him alone

Fingon: that makes it okay

Theoden: that's fair. *nuzzles* Horrible how? I mean, there's a lot of ways that could go.

Fingon: Impure thoughts I mean

Fingon: Just...he's perfect, you know?

Theoden: tell me about him?

Fingon: He's, you know, large than life, skilled in everything, amazing

Theoden: I have no idea how you mistook me for him then

Fingon: your gorgeous hair

Theoden: you might just have a ginger fetish. *tickles Fingon's nose with the end of his braid*

Fingon: *laughs* Maaybe a little. Hey!

Theoden: I wonder if there's a way you could ask Maedhros about how he feels

Fingon: There probably is

Fingon: If I thought hard enough

Theoden: maybe someone else should ask him. 'hey, psst. Maedhros. You ever thought about making the kisses with your cousin Fingon?'

Fingon: *laughs* Oh Come ON. that's just crazy

Theoden: and probably a good way to get punched. I mean, there's no way I can ask him, or I would, just to let you have some sort of closure

Fingon: See right. It just wouldn't work well

Theoden: do you know a neutral party you can tell who'd help you?

Theoden: being in limbo has to hurt

Theoden: even knowing the idea disgusts him would probably help you

Fingon: Not really. I mean...anyone who'd find out would probably...not be impressed

Theoden: I'm sorry. *kisses Fingon's cheek* I really am


I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing about Fingon and his cousin. I just want Fingon to stop feeling bad. The problem is, while I feel comfortable approaching Feanor for Feanor things, I... there's no way I'm going near one of his sons with my track record, especially with questions like THAT.